Our existence is a series of gains and losses;
Celebrate both as a part of life.
For we cannot wallow in grief all the time,
Just as we must not be content with past success.
Every journey is a series of ups and downs. It is normal and automatic for us to celebrate the attainment of goals, and to highlight milestones in our lives. Just look at social media — how many posts do we see among our friends showing the birth of a child, the awarding of a degree, or the victorious podium finish in a competition? We often see positive comments on these and urge them to do more. In contrast, comments on losses and failures are short, as if we are afraid of harming sensibilities. This might discourage people from sharing these sad moments, creating a vicious cycle that may exacerbate unexpressed loneliness.
Today, The Ruth Foundation for Palliative and Hospice Care shares with us how we can deal with loss and treat it as a part of our personal growth. The program entitled “Good Grief: Healing Hearts and Communities Through Bereavement Care” highlights testimonies and experiences that will encourage us to speak up and move on. Stories of loss, survival, support, and even heroism in the midst of struggles are interspersed with beautiful anecdotes that will convince us that the inevitability of loss is an opportunity for upliftment. I saw cries with smiles, and while looking back was filled with pain, hope is never lost.
Is there a secret to good grief? Does time heal wounds? Hearing from the experience of others, there is really no definitive timetable that can be established for moving on. Pain can remain for years even if the grieving survivors have regained functionality in their lives. This tells us that it is not the complete absence of pain that is important – rather, it is the strength of character that loss instills that makes bereavement important. And in all of this, we need each other. A community that cares allows us to have the energy to physically, mentally, and emotionally deal with the challenges of change and the courage to share the learnings later on.
A number of myths were also debunked in relation to bereavement care. Suppressing the pain to heal faster was mentioned as a myth, for it actually prolongs the agony when the reason for the pain is not addressed. We may exhibit a strong front, but external manifestations of strength by showing indifference can give those around us mixed signals about how we really feel. It is not, however, mandatory that we release those emotions publicly, for we all have different ways to grieve. As long as the method of grieving does not damage or compromise one’s future, personal coping measures must be respected and honored.
Our gratitude goes to those who contributed their time and expertise to this endeavor, led by The Ruth Foundation Founder Dr. Rumalie Corvera, Director for Training Dr. Mark Joseph Mendoza, Palliative Care consultants Dr. Ara Ofina and Dr. DJ Pedro, Spiritual Care Provider Pastor Spencer Gequillana, Social worker Lira Tañamor, and Counseling Specialist Cottie Del Rosario. Executive Director Dr. Rana Mendoza spearheaded the affair, which was held at the Crimson Hotel in Alabang and shared virtually via the Zoom platform with its 41 participants.
Congratulations to The Ruth Foundation and thank you to all the participants!
