Left Behind

When a person leaves us, their lives must achieve closure. We arrange their funeral, we manage their finances, and we take care of the things they leave behind.

The job of handling personal and legal details of the dead falls on the living. It could be an overwhelming task for the inexperienced.  You may still be grieving, yet work must be done fast to facilitate a smooth transition for everyone.

But one must not carry the burden alone. Help is needed and must be provided.  Professionals such as lawyers, physicians, and accountants may need to be on-hand to give advice. It might be costly to make a mistake at times, so one must be well-versed.

Friends are an indispensable resource for unknown surprises. One may be the decision-maker, but the execution must be considered as a team event.  You may take the lead in planning, while others pitch in for execution. Even loners may find it difficult to pass through this stage in solitude.

If your loved one was confined in an institution with medical experts on hand, the medical staff can take care of the paperwork to complete the death certificate. This is important because the death certificate will allow permission to process the remains.

If someone dies at home, a medical professional must be contacted to ascertain death. You can call a doctor when you do not detect any sign of life, such as the absence of breathing or pulses. Since most often, you do not have a death certificate form on hand, you may need to contact the physician again to have the form signed on another day. That is why it is advisable to have this form handy in case you are expecting a deteriorating condition, no matter how morbid it sounds.

It is not recommended to do cardiopulmonary resuscitation on a patient who is in the terminal phase of their condition. However, it is strongly recommended to have advance care directives. The decision on resuscitation must come before the actual need to carry it out arises. Keep in mind that resuscitation is not to be offered by clinicians when it is deemed to be futile.

Immediately after the declaration of death, spend some time with the body. This is a moment of peace, quiet, and rest. Reminisce and work on accepting the inevitability of the moment. It is not bad to cry or show emotion, but it is also fine to be just a listener and a stabilizer of feelings.

Tell friends and family about the demise so they can pay their respects. One may need to go through the deceased's email and phone contacts. Inform co-workers and the members of any social groups or church the person attended and tell them to spread the word. A word of caution: never spread word on a patient’s demise unless the family gives instructions to do so.

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If you know about the person’s wishes for funeral or burial, start looking at ways on how to carry it out. Contact the funeral services. Look for and secure any papers pertaining to purchased memorial lots and services. Call the funeral services once you are satisfied with the time spent after demise, so they can come over at home and prepare the body.  Call a family meeting to have the first conversation about what the funeral will look like. Will it be cremation or not?  This is critical if the deceased left no instructions.

Secure the property and belongings. Finances must be looked into, including any last wills. Don’t forget social media portals – they may need to be archived so that posers or scammers will not use them. Even pets must be cared for.  Cancel any services like phone or internet services that are no longer needed. Close all financial accounts that are available

If the deceased is employed, inform the employers. He or she may be entitled to some benefits, so make sure to do this early as it can help in your initial planning.